October 22, 2007
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What makes a man turn neutral?
I came to the conclusion today that I no longer believed in Love.http://www.polyorlando.org/html/biological_imperative.htm
I
have no need, time nor inclination for an apprentice, appendage or
fashion accessory to validate myself, and it suprises me that any of you still
do, but anyway I'm not attacking you just standing back from life and
observing that supposed all powerful daydream that makes the world go
round.My further conclusion is that there was only room for one Girl my heart and that was my Daughter.
Subsequent or rather parent to this conclusion was that there is no such thing as Love, only biological imperative.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_imperative
However upon browsing pictures of Josie for my new profile pics, I have decided that perhaps there is such a thing as Love.
Ultimately
though this is still only biological imperative, and ironically she
probably has no conception of who I am seeing as she barely sees me,
no-one probably ever talks to her about me, and she has no idea what to
do with a phone when I talk to her.I dunno, I haven't smoked a joint in ages, I guess I'm struggling with this new brain chimera's tree/chemistry. Part of me knows that should I ever track down some weed, on that first toke I'll mentally kick myself saying something along the lines of:
"Boyeeee! Shut ya mad klaat!"
I guess it's just a matter of filling that time, or thinking about home growing...
Comments (2)
I can see the love when I see pictures of you & your daughter. It won't be long before your daughter will be able to understand you on the phone. And she will carry you in her heart in the times when she isn't with you. Anytime she sees a man or a father, she will think, I have one of those too, I love my daddy.
When we had our little fosterlings the girl was only 19 months when she came to be with us. She could barely say more than dada, mama, brodder, kitty & ball. Her daddy was in jail & she didn't get to see him for 7 months. When she got to see him, she screamed, "DADDY!" ran across the room & threw herself in his arms. She said, "Daddy, where did you go? Why didn't you called me?" It was so sweet I cried. But the point is that little minds know their daddy & they carry them in their hearts.
About filling your time. Fill it with something that will make your daughter proud when you tell her about it later.
Happy Halloween!
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